tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-77247148153290082732024-03-14T09:32:18.438-04:00Much ado about nothingWhere the wild things arehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12444070299287196513noreply@blogger.comBlogger61125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724714815329008273.post-24316507244680059752011-05-31T03:03:00.001-04:002011-07-04T12:52:43.395-04:00welfare babyPlease explain to me why I have to work to support your lazy ass? Your rent is $32 a month, you get $450 in food stamps, and a check from the government. Yet you don’t work, never have in fact, and continue to pop out more babies while driving around in your pimped out Lexus. You want to know what I drive? I drive a damn Avalon, a 99 Toyota freaking Avalon. You want to know something else? I have $30,000 in student loans so that I don’t ever have to be on welfare. Guess what else? I know how to use a condom and I know what birth control does so I am not popping out kids I can’t afford. But not you. No, I mean why would you when it’s so much easier to just sit back, relax, and let me do all the work? I blame the government. The welfare system is designed to keep you on it. Think about it: a system that rewards you for doing nothing and penalizes you for trying to better yourself sounds sketch to me. As soon as I graduated high school and went to college every government benefit I had was taken from me including health insurance, the one thing I really needed. Yet, if I had stayed home and decided to pop out a litter of Bebe’s kids, the government would have paid for everything. As long as you don’t try to work the government will pay your rent but the moment you get a $7 an hour job they try to raise your rent to $600 a month. Seriously? This works how? Don’t misunderstand, I grew up on welfare and I am not ashamed of that fact. I remember the food stamp coupons in different colors. I remember being in the DSS office with my mom. I remember getting my medicaid sponsored checkups for school. I also remember a woman that went back to school, a woman that kept a job, a woman that did not want to pass down that life to her girls. There are those out there that are on welfare because they have no choice and they are fighting everyday to get off that system. I salute them. You, with your Ronald McDonald red weave, are not one of them. You seem to relish being a leech on society. You are proud of your inabilty to contribute to humanity. Hell, you probably can’t even spell “humanity” can you? You disgust me. You are not a woman and you do not deserve to use such a title.<br />
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And unto thee shall be his desire, and thou shalt rule over him.” The ESV translates it as “7 If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is for you, but you must rule over it.” The character looks at “thou shalt” and “you must” and begins to question why the difference. “Thou shalt” he sees as a promise from God that Cain will triumph over sin while “You must” he considers a demand that Cain triumph over sin. He wanted to know why there was a difference so asked someone he knew that spoke understood Hebrew to explain this. In Hebrew it says “ז הֲלוֹא אִם-תֵּיטִיב, שְׂאֵת, וְאִם לֹא תֵיטִיב, לַפֶּתַח חַטָּאת רֹבֵץ; וְאֵלֶיךָ, תְּשׁוּקָתוֹ, וְאַתָּה, תִּמְשָׁל-בּוֹ. If thou doest well, shall it not be lifted up? and if thou doest not well, sin croucheth at the door; and unto thee is its desire, but thou mayest rule over it.” Neither “thou shalt” or “you must’ but instead “thou mayest”, implying a choice to conquer over sin. Does Timshel change the meaning? Does it imply that God gives us the choice to overcome sin? Choice. Such a small but influential word. Choice meaning it’s a decision we must make and thus live with its consequences. What a powerful thought…Where the wild things arehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12444070299287196513noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724714815329008273.post-15661870701245924692011-02-18T19:59:00.002-05:002011-02-18T19:59:32.715-05:00Even books can be ghetto?Can someone please tell me why there are books that look like bootleg CD’s? Why are there books with titles like “Marry your baby daddy” or “Ridin dirty on I-95″? Why are these called “urban books”? Urban, as in black you mean? I understand our people need to read more. I know, reading is fundamental but really? This is the best we can do? We couldn’t come up with something more positive for our people to read? We REALLY enjoy playing up to the stereotypes don’t we? It’s a damn shame that this is the best we can do. This is nothing to be proud of. Once again, we have got to do better my people.Where the wild things arehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12444070299287196513noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724714815329008273.post-34131814728338944832011-01-24T15:29:00.002-05:002011-01-24T15:35:07.463-05:00Let the locing beginSo I have made a big decision. I am going to loc my hair. Yes, you heard me right I am locing. I have actually received quite a bit of positive feedback from my friends. I am so surprised at the encouragement that I am getting, especially from the black community. Why am I surprised at the support from <b>MY</b> people? That's easy, every negative comment I have gotten about my natural hair has been from a <b>black</b> man or woman. When I first decided to go natural I was met with negativity. "Why did you cut off all that pretty hair?"<--friends back home. "Your little fro looks like a burnt Q-tip."<--coworkers. "Are you going to get a texturizer to loosen the curls?"<--parents. "When are you going to get another relaxer?"<--family and friends. Yeah none of that was too encouraging, but I simply smiled and learned to let their ignorance of natural hair roll off my back. Yet every <b>other race</b> that I have encountered had nothing but positivity for me. "I love how thick your hair is!" "Look at those pretty springy coils!" "OMG the big hair is awesome, you should wear it more!" Why is it that the majority of support <b>couldn't come from my own</b> people? Why is my <b>natural</b> seen as <b>unnatural</b> by <b>my</b> people? Why must we always be so negative to one another? I almost went back so I could make everyone else happy. Then my hair started to grow. Then my curls started to show. Then I realized God makes <b>no</b> mistakes and if this is the hair <b>He</b> gave me then I have no reason to be ashamed. I have absolutely no regrets about my choice to be natural, my hair is healthier than ever. Now I want to try something new. Now I want to let the twists I always have be a little more permanent. Now I want to do whatever I want to do to my hair. So now I start my locing journey. There will be ups, downs, twists, turns, progress, and setbacks. You know what though? I am going to sit back and enjoy the ride. AND AWAAAAAAY WE GO!Where the wild things arehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12444070299287196513noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724714815329008273.post-14086384458256004372010-12-27T23:20:00.000-05:002010-12-27T23:20:43.736-05:00Misery loves FacebookWhy, oh why does every status have to be about someone doing you wrong. 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If that is so then you are as insane as they come.Where the wild things arehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12444070299287196513noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724714815329008273.post-3553376776434800772010-12-20T22:24:00.000-05:002010-12-20T22:24:08.298-05:00Don't ask, don't tell, don't be so freaking stupid.The "Don't ask, Don't tell" policy was finally repealed. Yet Virginia's very own Delegate Bob Marshall, in an effort to be as backwards and ignorant as possible, wants to ban gays from the National Guard. Um, what? Didn't the rest of the government just say screw that, if you want to fight be our guest? Please explain to me why you, Mr. Marshall, still can't accept it? What, does a gay not deserve to fight for his country because he is gay? That alone should totally make him ineligible? Well since you don't like gays would you like to removed colored folks too? Maybe we can re-segregate the military. Why stop there?! Let's hit the school system too! 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One day I am slamming my Acute Care book closed screaming "I can't do this!" the next I am looking at the board to see which patients I have. Its funny how sometimes you can't picture your future during the present. It seems surreal. It feels like I am talking about someone else when I say I am a nurse. Its a strange yet beautiful feeling to sign "RN" behind my name. There is something else I feel. I feel like I deserve this. I have been through enough in my life to earn the good times that are here and the good times to come. This is my time. These are my blessings. This is my life. It's time for me to live it.Where the wild things arehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12444070299287196513noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724714815329008273.post-28737600872799003042010-10-14T14:04:00.003-04:002010-10-14T14:13:00.361-04:00Dear NCLEXDear NCLEX,<br /><br />I am writing you to tell you I am not scared of you anymore. You do not dictate my self worth. 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Really?Can someone, anyone please tell me how are young girls no longer wan to become woman but want to become "Barbies"? So as a female you want to be a fake unrealistic replica of a woman? Really? At first I really blamed Nicki Manaj for this bullshit. As if our little girls don't have enough ridiculous images thrown at them! But as I take more time and think about it she isn't to blame, it would be easy to blame her. No this goes much deeper. This is what happens when moms stop being "role models" and started being "friends". Moms have stopped teaching their girls how to hold themselves to a higher standard. Moms aren't telling their little girls to be the best they can be. No, moms are now teaching their girls how to "drop it low" at three years old and posting it on youtube. Now moms are going out with their daughters to parties. Now the grandma is 45, the mom is 30, the daughter is 15 and pregnant. We have seriously got to reevaluate what we are doing...Where the wild things arehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12444070299287196513noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724714815329008273.post-29997113863220213972010-07-17T14:17:00.002-04:002010-07-17T14:41:00.002-04:00The dumbing down of usSince when is it cute for you to speak with such ignorance that I can not actually understand you? Why am I spending minutes, not seconds, deciphering your facebook status because it doesn't make sense? When did dumb become the new smart? Why do I now feel like a minority when I go out to certain places and listen to conversations? When did being educated go out of style? Did I miss something? Was there a newsletter that came out that stated we should forget the strength and pride of those who came before us and instead live up to the porch monkey stereotype? When the hell did my people get so... dumb? You can name every member of Young Money but you can't actually read the lyrics if I put them in front of you. You can walk around with your pants so low that you might as well just take them off but you can't walk to put in some applications and get a job. Your car is sitting on 22's and yet your babies don't have diapers. You talk about how their is nothing in your neighborhood, nowhere for you all to go, but the moment something is built you and your boys are the first ones breaking in. You talk about how drugs destroyed your family and your hood as you sell crack to the mother with 4 children and no food. You complain that someone is always trying to hold you down but you never actually tried to get up. When did we give up wanting to be teachers, doctors, lawyers? Now we want to play basketball or maybe football, and if we are being really ambitious we want to be a rapper. How did calling a woman a "five star bitch" become acceptable? Does this bother anyone besides me?Where the wild things arehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12444070299287196513noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724714815329008273.post-89929092789617161662010-06-07T14:42:00.003-04:002010-06-07T14:54:21.668-04:00Build up to breakdownAfter three years it turns out the man I though I knew, I knew nothing about at all. I loved and thought I was loved. Instead I was one of many being "loved". I gave my best and he gave his best performance. When the truth came out I didn't feel anything. I didn't hurt, I wasn't angry, I wasn't sad. Today is a different story. Today my heart is heavy. Today I am ashamed for being so stupid and blind. Today I am angry that I was used. Today my "slap-a-bitch" hand is tingling, not for her but for him. Today everything is hitting me like a ton of bricks. I never wanted to let a <span style="font-weight:bold;">man </span>make me cry and yet tears well up in my eyes. I never wanted to let a <span style="font-weight:bold;">man </span>steal my joy and yet I can't even fake a smile. I thought I was stronger than this and yet here I am. I guess I am going to go through several emotions over the course of this healing process. I will yell, scream, smile, cry over and over until it is done. I know that in the end I will come out stronger than I was before. I have to because I am a De'Braux, I am my mother's child and the one thing she gave me before she left this Earth was her strength.Where the wild things arehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12444070299287196513noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724714815329008273.post-38747845778513608062010-06-02T22:24:00.005-04:002011-07-04T13:01:15.508-04:00Change is gonna comeA couple of weeks... A couple of weeks stand between me and probably one of the biggest achievements of my life. I will be done with nursing school in a little over two months. I will have a career that I have wanted for years. I will be done with school, at least for awhile. I will have finally done it. Yet I am afraid. Don't get me wrong, I am not afraid of being a nurse, its my life's passion. I am afraid of the change to come. My life will change and I am sure for the better, and yet... I am afraid. I know why and it bothers me that it, well, bothers me. I am afraid of what others strive for. I am afraid of NOT having to work so hard, of NOT being a student, of NOT having to be full time here and there. I am afraid of having down time. Since the death of my mother I learned to deal with emotions by NOT dealing with them at all, just keep myself busy. I graduated high school with honors because I <span style="font-weight: bold;">threw </span>myself into school. I immediately got a full time job after school. I then went to college, never below full time. Since I was 19 years old I have been a full time employee and student somewhere. I have barely had time to sleep, let alone grieve and now I am afraid of what will happen when I DO have time. I don't want to think. I don't want to grieve. I don't want to feel. I just want to keep floating through life like I have been. I don't want things to change and there is the problem. I know me, I know the person I am. I won't sit back and enjoy my new career, my free time, my increase in pay. I won't travel, spend money, and have fun. I will work full time, and get a second job or probably try to find a reason to go back to school so things stay the way they are. Being stretched to the limit has become my comfort zone. Not dealing with my emotions has become my norm. I don't know how to just LIVE, to just BE. Its like the 90's movie "Speed", if the bus slows down or stops its going to blow up. I am that bus, if I slow down or stop I am going to finally explode from the inside out. I am afraid of all the things I will start to remember, all the things I hid away, all the things I never dealt with. I'm afraid... I'm afraid<div style="display:none;"><a href=http://acluweb.com/new/generic-cialis-overnight-delivery.html>generic cialis overnight delivery</a><br />
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<div>So as a health care worker for over 2 years now I have seen a growing and disturbingly frustrating trend... why are more and more people coming to the hospital telling us of their health issues then refusing to let us treat them? How can we know what <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-error">meds</span> to give you, to help <strong><em>you</em></strong> get better, if we can't do any test to find out what's wrong because you refuse them all? What the hell did you come to the hospital for then? You just wanted to spend $1500 to complain to someone? For all of that call up a family friend, it is a whole hell of a lot cheaper. Even better are the family members that bring someone in and then constantly complain you aren't doing enough yet don't want you to do anything at all. You want him to be comfortable, you want his swelling to go down, or you want to know why he is in multi-system failure. Yet we can't do a biopsy, you don't like the way it sounds. We can't do blood test because you don't want us drawing blood, he had his blood drawn once already so we should be able to run EVERY SINGLE TEST from that ONE vial! Let's talk him out of the MRI, the machine is too loud. So exactly what would you, the annoying overbearing family, like for us to do? Want us to guess what's wrong? Better yet how about lets have the doctor stare at him <em>really</em> hard and see if they can see his internal structures. Ooh ooh how about lets write a random prescription and hope it works? If you want us to help, then step back and let us do just that... thank you.</div><div style="display:none;"><a href=http://acluweb.com/new/viagra-american-express-canada.html>viagra american express canada</a><br />
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I tell them that it is my way off getting things off of my chest and out of my head. Of course the next question is: why don't you just talk to someone? Why you ask? I don't "talk" because I don't want to. When I blog I don't have to hear the <em>obvious</em> pity in your voice. I don't feel like having the bible thrown at me, I get it-pray more that fixes <strong>everything</strong>. I don't have to see the disparaging look on your face as you hear what is <em>really</em> on my mind. I don't have to listen to your pretend sincerity and concern. I don't have to have you interupt everything I say because you feel the need to give me your "expert" advice. I don't have to listen to you tell me that I am wrong for feeling the way I feel. I don't have to hear the "sunshine and rainbows" bullshit that you want me to believe. I can say what I need to say without judgement. I don't have to censor myself. I can cry as I express myself and no one can see me at my weakest. I don't have to worry that you won't <em>understand</em> how I feel, my words understand me perfectly. I am not a talker, I don't like to verbalize my feelings. I will express myself the best way I know how so accept the way I am. This post is <strong>NOT</strong> directed at <em>one</em> person or one particular moment. This is to all of you, all of you that feel I need to share my feelings, all of you that <em>think</em> you want to know how I am feeling. If you really want to know, read the blog because that is the closest you will get to expression.</div>Where the wild things arehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12444070299287196513noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724714815329008273.post-28496195706050673012009-12-15T13:40:00.000-05:002009-12-15T14:20:53.385-05:00Guilt...Not sure why but I feel guilty about my family situation. My sisters and I all dealt with the loss of my mother in our own ways. They acted out, I went numb and burried myself in work and school. I didn't really try and help my sisters get thru it, mostly because I was frustrated with what they were doing so I emotionally walked away. Maybe if I had tried to get them to talk, or maybe tried to steer them in the right direction, maybe if I hadn't shut down, maybe we wouldn't all be like this. Maybe they would have graudated high school, maybe they would have gone to college, maybe none of them would have done jail time, maybe drugs wouldn't be involved. Should I have stepped up? Should I have tried to keep the family together? Was that my responsibility? My mom wanted the best for us. She wanted us to have the world in our hands. I am trying to reach that, I want her to be proud...my sisters haven't quite gotten on that band wagon yet. It pisses me off to the fullest that we all had the same mother and they disrespect her and all she stood for, blatantly. By doing the things they do, they are spitting on her grave in my eyes. Maybe that is why I walked away from them. Deep down I think I am angry at them for dishonoring her memory. I know my mom wanted us all to stay close when she died. She knew we were all we had and we needed each other. I feel like I am letting her down. I have to shake this off, I have to deal with these thoughts before they deal with me...Where the wild things arehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12444070299287196513noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724714815329008273.post-6527124536637320472009-11-29T21:38:00.000-05:002009-11-29T22:04:38.716-05:00Why can't we all just get along?So I am sitting here watching Tough Love on VH1. Why can't bitches get along? Why is it that whenever you put a bunch of females together they have to act completely stupid? Everyone hates everyone and its fights galore. Why do women feel they are in competition with each other whenever they are around another female? I know the reality show pick women they know will fight because it makes for good tv but I have seen it for myself. We all know what I am talking about. For example, take a group of three-five girls. Let one girl walk away and then count the seconds before her "friends" start talking trash... 30 seconds tops. Why? Why do females feel they have to knock the others around them down. Whats worse is how judgemental we are. I have had trash talked about me by broads that don't know me, they know <em>of</em> me. I know plenty of women that have gone/are going through the same thing. Why? Why are girls like that? Do guys go through the same thing?Where the wild things arehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12444070299287196513noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724714815329008273.post-50035977323809622672009-11-05T17:30:00.001-05:002009-11-05T17:55:25.174-05:00Squatters<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjI3_ocRY4uyNe05BI3mtb8VRbkRrfFutSIrQTINS71qnIUjLTJDorMcTariKYa2iVxt5udb5-lqth-ETnnenIjfDo7mwm_Tef2NiY9Gvo4XtkZXHBDloqq0r8ttTksgqVtQU55cimW_TiW/s1600-h/tresspass.bmp"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 193px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 136px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5400750598738613010" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjI3_ocRY4uyNe05BI3mtb8VRbkRrfFutSIrQTINS71qnIUjLTJDorMcTariKYa2iVxt5udb5-lqth-ETnnenIjfDo7mwm_Tef2NiY9Gvo4XtkZXHBDloqq0r8ttTksgqVtQU55cimW_TiW/s320/tresspass.bmp" /></a><br /><div>This ladies and gentlemen is the sign posted on the door of the "neighbors" house. Yes that says its condemned and yes they are still in there. Now most people would try to lay low...no not these people. Instead they sit right on the porch with the door WIDE open. In fact its like the sign is more of a suggestion than a demand. Mind you these are the same people that stole a generator and continuously fueled it for over two weeks to avoid paying electricity. I am wondering what it is going to take to get them out of there. What makes it so bad is the fact that THERE ARE CHILDREN IN THERE!!! Two elementary aged children!!!! Who is looking out for them? Why are they living in a house with no electricity or water? CBS 6 has been here and done a story on that house and yet the kids are still there. I will keep the world posted on what happens with this house... </div>Where the wild things arehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12444070299287196513noreply@blogger.com1