Don't ask, don't tell, don't be so freaking stupid.

The "Don't ask, Don't tell" policy was finally repealed. Yet Virginia's very own Delegate Bob Marshall, in an effort to be as backwards and ignorant as possible, wants to ban gays from the National Guard. Um, what? Didn't the rest of the government just say screw that, if you want to fight be our guest? Please explain to me why you, Mr. Marshall, still can't accept it? What, does a gay not deserve to fight for his country because he is gay? That alone should totally make him ineligible? Well since you don't like gays would you like to removed colored folks too? Maybe we can re-segregate the military. Why stop there?! Let's hit the school system too! Gays in their own school, gays in their own hospitals, gays drink from different water fountains, gays use separate doors... Oh, you aren't singling them out? It's because it can undermine the military? Really? Can someone explain how being gay makes someone less of a soldier? Is a soldier going to stop in the middle of a war and say "I know we are being shot at right now but can he not be a part of my platoon, he's gay"? Do they not fight the same fight? Do they not go through the same training? Do they not feel the same loss of losing a comrade? Oh, they do? Then what exactly is the problem?

Hilarious

I find it funny, no in fact hilarious, how people thrive off misery whether real or imaginary. Especially when it comes to relationships. The moment you look like you are upset or the moment you have an argument everybody wants to give you the "I told you it wouldn't work" look. Not every disagreement is THE ONE that is going to end the relationship. Not every fight is reassurance that you were right when you said it wouldn't work. Why do people enjoy unhappiness so much? Why do people seem to relish any moment that seems like you are having a hard time. They want to know "what's wrong?" or "what happened?". They don't care really, they just want to know your business and enjoy the fact that you are unhappy. They just need something to talk about when they get around their other miserable friends. Do you not have your own life to live? Don't you have your own business to attend to? Do you not have your own relationship to build? I guess not or else you wouldn't be in other people's lives would you?

Closure for the Phoenix

This post is for you, you know who you are. You won't see it though because I made sure we would never have contact again. I need closure, closure I didn't get because when the shit hit the fan you had already left the country. I never got to say what I needed to say to your face. Instead you got to walk away free and clear so I shall say my piece now. Thank you. Thank you for showing me how strong I can be. Thank you for showing me I can get back up when I fall to my lowest. Thank you because I now have a new friend that was my pillar of strength just as I was hers as we got over you. Thank you because now I know what I want in a man. In fact thanks to you I have a wonderful man in my life that gives me everything you didn't. I should be bitter. I should hate you. Yet your inability to trust has taught me how to trust. Can I lie and say I don't want to hit you in your pretty little face? No, in fact I want to see you bleed but I will get over that. I kind of still want to set both your cars on fire (you don't need to be in them, after all I am not a murderer. Violent but not a murderer). I want to cause you the same amount of pain you caused Peacock and I but what good would it do? It would be a temporary win, a false positive if you will. Instead I am going to go with God and my late Mother's teachings. Instead I will forgive you, forgive you and forget you. I will continue my success that I have achieved. I will do what I always do, I will rise from the ashes because I am the Phoenix...

Looking back on the year

This has been one hell of a year. I got cheated on by some miserable ol' loser. Gained a wonderful new boyfriend instead. I graduated nursing school. I got my first job as an RN. I finally spoke to my estranged sister (I haven't forgiven her yet but that is going to take a LONG time. I lost my wonderful Grandpa. I met the cousin I have been trying to meet for four years now. October 18, 2010 at 11:55 am marked eleven years since my mother died. I passed the NCLEX and made the RN title official. I am getting surgery to finally fix my jaw. Things have just been a blur really. One day I am slamming my Acute Care book closed screaming "I can't do this!" the next I am looking at the board to see which patients I have. Its funny how sometimes you can't picture your future during the present. It seems surreal. It feels like I am talking about someone else when I say I am a nurse. Its a strange yet beautiful feeling to sign "RN" behind my name. There is something else I feel. I feel like I deserve this. I have been through enough in my life to earn the good times that are here and the good times to come. This is my time. These are my blessings. This is my life. It's time for me to live it.

Dear NCLEX

Dear NCLEX,

I am writing you to tell you I am not scared of you anymore. You do not dictate my self worth. You are simply a test, a generic test created to make nurses feel like they don't know anything. Well you know what? I know a lot more than you think I do. I can save a life if I need to. I don't work in your perfect little hospital in your unrealistic world and I am totally ok with that. Instead I work on a floor full of chaos with a group of amazing nurses that can show me how to handle it. I may not know which cardiac drug fits in which category right off the top of my head but I can damn sure tell when it isn't working correctly. No, I don't know the Tanner stages of development for pediatrics but I know a sick kid when I see one. So to you NCLEX I say this: give me your best shot and watch me ricochet it right back at ya...

Barbie? Really?

Can someone, anyone please tell me how are young girls no longer wan to become woman but want to become "Barbies"? So as a female you want to be a fake unrealistic replica of a woman? Really? At first I really blamed Nicki Manaj for this bullshit. As if our little girls don't have enough ridiculous images thrown at them! But as I take more time and think about it she isn't to blame, it would be easy to blame her. No this goes much deeper. This is what happens when moms stop being "role models" and started being "friends". Moms have stopped teaching their girls how to hold themselves to a higher standard. Moms aren't telling their little girls to be the best they can be. No, moms are now teaching their girls how to "drop it low" at three years old and posting it on youtube. Now moms are going out with their daughters to parties. Now the grandma is 45, the mom is 30, the daughter is 15 and pregnant. We have seriously got to reevaluate what we are doing...

The dumbing down of us

Since when is it cute for you to speak with such ignorance that I can not actually understand you? Why am I spending minutes, not seconds, deciphering your facebook status because it doesn't make sense? When did dumb become the new smart? Why do I now feel like a minority when I go out to certain places and listen to conversations? When did being educated go out of style? Did I miss something? Was there a newsletter that came out that stated we should forget the strength and pride of those who came before us and instead live up to the porch monkey stereotype? When the hell did my people get so... dumb? You can name every member of Young Money but you can't actually read the lyrics if I put them in front of you. You can walk around with your pants so low that you might as well just take them off but you can't walk to put in some applications and get a job. Your car is sitting on 22's and yet your babies don't have diapers. You talk about how their is nothing in your neighborhood, nowhere for you all to go, but the moment something is built you and your boys are the first ones breaking in. You talk about how drugs destroyed your family and your hood as you sell crack to the mother with 4 children and no food. You complain that someone is always trying to hold you down but you never actually tried to get up. When did we give up wanting to be teachers, doctors, lawyers? Now we want to play basketball or maybe football, and if we are being really ambitious we want to be a rapper. How did calling a woman a "five star bitch" become acceptable? Does this bother anyone besides me?