Timshel

Over the course of the night I have talked about everything from music to beer to tattoos. A friend told me she wanted to get “Timshel” tattooed on her. After much discussion I found out what it means. Can one word have enough meaning to change how you think? Maybe, for “Timshel” is Hebrew for “Thou mayest”. It means we are given a CHOICE. You can or you cannot. How profound. There’s a book called “East of Eden” that has a character that has a wonderful discussion involving “Timshel”. He is asking about a passage in the bible 4Genesis particularly the 7th verse. The KJV says “7If thou doest well, shalt thou not be accepted? and if thou doest not well, sin lieth at the door. And unto thee shall be his desire, and thou shalt rule over him.” The ESV translates it as “7 If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is for you, but you must rule over it.” The character looks at “thou shalt” and “you must” and begins to question why the difference. “Thou shalt” he sees as a promise from God that Cain will triumph over sin while “You must” he considers a demand that Cain triumph over sin. He wanted to know why there was a difference so asked someone he knew that spoke understood Hebrew to explain this. In Hebrew it says “ז הֲלוֹא אִם-תֵּיטִיב, שְׂאֵת, וְאִם לֹא תֵיטִיב, לַפֶּתַח חַטָּאת רֹבֵץ; וְאֵלֶיךָ, תְּשׁוּקָתוֹ, וְאַתָּה, תִּמְשָׁל-בּוֹ. If thou doest well, shall it not be lifted up? and if thou doest not well, sin croucheth at the door; and unto thee is its desire, but thou mayest rule over it.” Neither “thou shalt” or “you must’ but instead “thou mayest”, implying a choice to conquer over sin. Does Timshel change the meaning? Does it imply that God gives us the choice to overcome sin? Choice. Such a small but influential word. Choice meaning it’s a decision we must make and thus live with its consequences. What a powerful thought…

Even books can be ghetto?

Can someone please tell me why there are books that look like bootleg CD’s? Why are there books with titles like “Marry your baby daddy” or “Ridin dirty on I-95″? Why are these called “urban books”? Urban, as in black you mean? I understand our people need to read more. I know, reading is fundamental but really? This is the best we can do? We couldn’t come up with something more positive for our people to read? We REALLY enjoy playing up to the stereotypes don’t we? It’s a damn shame that this is the best we can do. This is nothing to be proud of. Once again, we have got to do better my people.

Let the locing begin

So I have made a big decision. I am going to loc my hair. Yes, you heard me right I am locing. I have actually received quite a bit of positive feedback from my friends. I am so surprised at the encouragement that I am getting, especially from the black community. Why am I surprised at the support from MY people? That's easy, every negative comment I have gotten about my natural hair has been from a black man or woman. When I first decided to go natural I was met with negativity. "Why did you cut off all that pretty hair?"<--friends back home. "Your little fro looks like a burnt Q-tip."<--coworkers. "Are you going to get a texturizer to loosen the curls?"<--parents. "When are you going to get another relaxer?"<--family and friends. Yeah none of that was too encouraging, but I simply smiled and learned to let their ignorance of natural hair roll off my back. Yet every other race that I have encountered had nothing but positivity for me. "I love how thick your hair is!" "Look at those pretty springy coils!" "OMG the big hair is awesome, you should wear it more!" Why is it that the majority of support couldn't come from my own people? Why is my natural seen as unnatural by my people? Why must we always be so negative to one another? I almost went back so I could make everyone else happy. Then my hair started to grow. Then my curls started to show. Then I realized God makes no mistakes and if this is the hair He gave me then I have no reason to be ashamed. I have absolutely no regrets about my choice to be natural, my hair is healthier than ever. Now I want to try something new. Now I want to let the twists I always have be a little more permanent. Now I want to do whatever I want to do to my hair. So now I start my locing journey. There will be ups, downs, twists, turns, progress, and setbacks. You know what though? I am going to sit back and enjoy the ride. AND AWAAAAAAY WE GO!

Misery loves Facebook

Why, oh why does every status have to be about someone doing you wrong. These people are fake. This person is all in your business. Your man/woman is doing you wrong. This person has broken up with you and you just cannot understand why. Have you ever stopped to think maybe it's you? If you whine all day like you whine on Facebook I wouldn't want to be around you either. You put a play by play of all your business on your page and then complain about people being all in your business. I particularly love the lyrics from whatever "you did me wrong you will get yours one day" song of the day that you post. AND OF COURSE THESE ARE THE PEOPLE THAT LOVE TO TYPE IN ALL CAPS TO MAKE SURE YOUR STATUS IS SEEN. Why hasn't someone slapped the annoying-ness out of you yet? Has no one just grabbed you by your neck and shook the sh*t out of you? Have you ever heard the saying " the definition of insanity is doing the same thing but expecting different results"? If that is so then you are as insane as they come.

Don't ask, don't tell, don't be so freaking stupid.

The "Don't ask, Don't tell" policy was finally repealed. Yet Virginia's very own Delegate Bob Marshall, in an effort to be as backwards and ignorant as possible, wants to ban gays from the National Guard. Um, what? Didn't the rest of the government just say screw that, if you want to fight be our guest? Please explain to me why you, Mr. Marshall, still can't accept it? What, does a gay not deserve to fight for his country because he is gay? That alone should totally make him ineligible? Well since you don't like gays would you like to removed colored folks too? Maybe we can re-segregate the military. Why stop there?! Let's hit the school system too! Gays in their own school, gays in their own hospitals, gays drink from different water fountains, gays use separate doors... Oh, you aren't singling them out? It's because it can undermine the military? Really? Can someone explain how being gay makes someone less of a soldier? Is a soldier going to stop in the middle of a war and say "I know we are being shot at right now but can he not be a part of my platoon, he's gay"? Do they not fight the same fight? Do they not go through the same training? Do they not feel the same loss of losing a comrade? Oh, they do? Then what exactly is the problem?

Hilarious

I find it funny, no in fact hilarious, how people thrive off misery whether real or imaginary. Especially when it comes to relationships. The moment you look like you are upset or the moment you have an argument everybody wants to give you the "I told you it wouldn't work" look. Not every disagreement is THE ONE that is going to end the relationship. Not every fight is reassurance that you were right when you said it wouldn't work. Why do people enjoy unhappiness so much? Why do people seem to relish any moment that seems like you are having a hard time. They want to know "what's wrong?" or "what happened?". They don't care really, they just want to know your business and enjoy the fact that you are unhappy. They just need something to talk about when they get around their other miserable friends. Do you not have your own life to live? Don't you have your own business to attend to? Do you not have your own relationship to build? I guess not or else you wouldn't be in other people's lives would you?

Closure for the Phoenix

This post is for you, you know who you are. You won't see it though because I made sure we would never have contact again. I need closure, closure I didn't get because when the shit hit the fan you had already left the country. I never got to say what I needed to say to your face. Instead you got to walk away free and clear so I shall say my piece now. Thank you. Thank you for showing me how strong I can be. Thank you for showing me I can get back up when I fall to my lowest. Thank you because I now have a new friend that was my pillar of strength just as I was hers as we got over you. Thank you because now I know what I want in a man. In fact thanks to you I have a wonderful man in my life that gives me everything you didn't. I should be bitter. I should hate you. Yet your inability to trust has taught me how to trust. Can I lie and say I don't want to hit you in your pretty little face? No, in fact I want to see you bleed but I will get over that. I kind of still want to set both your cars on fire (you don't need to be in them, after all I am not a murderer. Violent but not a murderer). I want to cause you the same amount of pain you caused Peacock and I but what good would it do? It would be a temporary win, a false positive if you will. Instead I am going to go with God and my late Mother's teachings. Instead I will forgive you, forgive you and forget you. I will continue my success that I have achieved. I will do what I always do, I will rise from the ashes because I am the Phoenix...