As you take the opportunity to browse over my thoughts keep in mind that I write it as I feel it. Isn't that the way all writing should be?

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

And so it begins...


I have decided to give life a shot. There is no reason for me to stay behind these walls that I have built. I gave up on life because I seemed to get nothing out of it. The harder I tried the worse things got. Everything I wanted was just too far away to get. Then I realized something... maybe what I wanted isn't what I needed. Life happens the way it does for a reason. And where did I learn this lesson from? My parents? No, I tend to tune them out because they immediately start preaching. My friends? I don't really have many of those. The bible? Of course but it's a little hard for me to understand the scripture but I do try. So where did I learn most of my lesson? I learned it from a book called The Alchemist by Paulo Cuelho. The entire book is about a young sheppard looking for life's treasure. On his journey he realizes that life itself and its experiences are the real treasures. It was like having an epiphany. Someone wasn't preaching to me, someone wasn't talking down to me, I didn't get the Bible thumped at me. I got to read what I needed to hear and that got threw to me far easier than anything else. After I took a long hard look at what I had been asking God for I realized, I didn't need damn near any of that stuff. As I started praying for what I truely needed I have watched as God answered in perfect time. I need my health, I need my happiness, I need love, I need my family and as I look at my life I have all of those. He didn't give me what I wanted because he was busy giving me the necessities. What I want will come when it is supposed to, I just have to learn patience. So I shall step back and let life go in the direction it is meant to go. Don't get me wrong I am still in charge of who I am and what I do but He is in charge of me being in charge of my life. And so it begins...

Monday, July 13, 2009

Me, not me

I must admit that I am not who I portray myself to be. I give off this air of independence. I act as though I need no one. I keep all of you away from me. The truth is I am not the tough person you all know me to be. I push everyone away because I can't be hurt if there is no one around to hurt me. It gets lonely but I do it for my own good. I wish I knew how to open up to you. I wissh I knew how to not be a bitch to you. I wish I could love you and let you love me back. But I can't... not yet... but one day...

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Let it go McDonald's, let it go...

So despite my better judgement I had one of those new Angus burgers from McDonald's, yeah I know stupid but I was curious. OH MY GOD is was disgusting! The meat was way too salty, it was slathered in so much mayo that is ran off the burger, the red onions must have been like two days old, I think they just grabbed a side salad and threw that lettuce on there. It was like they tried to copy Hardee's thickburgers and failed miserably! My stomach is doing backflips trying to get rid of this monstrousity! Everytime I burp I get a spoiled onion taste in my mouth. I forced myself to eat half the burger because i paid $6.00 for the damn meal. My advice to McDonalds is for them to stick to what they do best and leave the real beef burgers to someone, anyone, else.

Welcome to where the wild things are...

This is my page. I will tell you now that I am a strange one and my mind is never in one place for longer than like, a minute. Expect my blogs to have absolutely NOTHING to do with each other! These are my thoughts about life, the universe, and everything (gotta love Douglas Adams). Feel free to check out my blogs and whether you agree, disagree, or could care less, comment!