And so it begins...

I have decided to give life a shot. There is no reason for me to stay behind these walls that I have built. I gave up on life because I seemed to get nothing out of it. The harder I tried the worse things got. Everything I wanted was just too far away to get. Then I realized something... maybe what I wanted isn't what I needed. Life happens the way it does for a reason. And where did I learn this lesson from? My parents? No, I tend to tune them out because they immediately start preaching. My friends? I don't really have many of those. The bible? Of course but it's a little hard for me to understand the scripture but I do try. So where did I learn most of my lesson? I learned it from a book called The Alchemist by Paulo Cuelho. The entire book is about a young sheppard looking for life's treasure. On his journey he realizes that life itself and its experiences are the real treasures. It was like having an epiphany. Someone wasn't preaching to me, someone wasn't talking down to me, I didn't get the Bible thumped at me. I got to read what I needed to hear and that got threw to me far easier than anything else. After I took a long hard look at what I had been asking God for I realized, I didn't need damn near any of that stuff. As I started praying for what I truely needed I have watched as God answered in perfect time. I need my health, I need my happiness, I need love, I need my family and as I look at my life I have all of those. He didn't give me what I wanted because he was busy giving me the necessities. What I want will come when it is supposed to, I just have to learn patience. So I shall step back and let life go in the direction it is meant to go. Don't get me wrong I am still in charge of who I am and what I do but He is in charge of me being in charge of my life. And so it begins...